Friday 15 February 2008

Reckless Romances!


Reading: Ecclesiastes 11:9-12:7
"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psa 37:4)

Valentine's Day is celebrated today all over the world. Young men and young women, especially in spiritual circles, are bothered by the question, "Is it wrong to fall in love? The peer pressure and the media appeal are too powerful for youngsters to resist.
Falling in love is not sin, but love at first sight is risky. Go slow. Consider the pros and cons. Consult your parents, trusted elders and senior Christians before giving word. Commit the matter to the Lord and wait before Him for a season. See if you have peace over the matter. If you are open and sincere, God will guide you with confirmations. If due to some reason or other, your parents don't agree, but you are assured of God's will, take time and do all that's possible to get them reconcile to the matter. Parental blessing is wonderful
. Don't forget that in the Asian setting marriage brings not only two individuals but two families together. Avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Eventhough love marriages are becoming more and more common in India, a recent poll in some of the major cities reveals that nearly 80% of the young people prefer arranged marriages. This is encouraging. However no two young people are alike. Even within a family one child differs so much from the other.
When parents arrange marriages there's a tremendous advantage of their wisdom and experience of years incorporated in the choice. As long as they don't force their sons and daughters to accept their choice, this procedure is welcome. Even in the ancient times, parents gave perfect freedom to their children to accept or reject their proposal. In some Indian homes, even educated girls have no say in this matter. This is wrong. Abraham's servant was very anxious to take Rebekah to be married to Isaac. But her brother and mother said, "We will call the young woman and ask her personally" (Gen 24:56,57).
Parents should sit with their grown-up sons and daughters and ask them whether they would like to make the choice themselves or have the parents make proposals. If the children opt for the first, there must be an understanding that the choice must be made known to the parents early before making commitments. If parents would choose the candidates, they should assure the children that they would not proceed with the matter without their wholehearted consent. Whoever makes the choice, don't marry in haste lest you worry at leisure!

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